Status

So, this year I beat my standing record for longest time since last posting here. I’ll be drafting my award speech after I complete my next post. But don’t worry.. I won’t be finished with that until at least the time my kids are in college!

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It Won’t Be Easy.. but it will be OK

It’s been almost one year since my last post. I have at least 9 unposted drafts, which I started but never finished. I have had a LOT on my plate and on my mind. Some people have told me I should have been posting during all that’s been happening, but I’ve felt like I’ve had so much to focus on that I couldn’t effectively nail down ONE coherent thing to articulately write about. I have had some time to sit down and reflect on all of it. I’ve taken a look at the past year as a whole, gained some insight, and am finally ready to let it out, and move on.
Do you know how you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
You might want to grab a seat, make a sandwich, and pour yourself some wine (or whiskey).. cuz this one could be a doozie.

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No matter what happens today, I'll be OK..

No matter what happens today, I’ll be OK..

A few months ago, I was introduced to the brave & inspiring story of Heather Von St. James, and a few clicks later I was watching this video, trying not to let my kids see me cry. “In 2005, at the age of 36, and only three months after giving birth to [her] beautiful daughter Lily Rose, [she] was diagnosed with pleural mesothelioma.” She was given just 15 months to live.

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My first 90 days (and beyond)..

In the last 6 months, I have started a new job, redecorated & reorganized our home, gone off the budget deep end & then gotten back on board (maybe a couple times), and most importantly: tried to work on myself, my family, and my relationships. Let me start by saying, I feel blessed EVERYDAY to be in the position I am. Maybe because I have previously had imperfect situations for comparison, or because I’m just at a point in my life where I don’t want to be bogged down by negatives. I know I don’t keep my home as clean as some people think I should. Yes, I don’t always get the time I want with my family or friends. I probably yell at my children more than I am proud to admit, and I don’t give my husband as much attention as he TRULY desires. BUT, I have some of the GREATEST people in my life & I enjoy EVERY moment I get to share with them (virtually or in REAL LIFE)! And sure, there are some people I sometimes have to interact with professionally that I would care NOT to.. but, for the most part, I LOVE my coworkers, my job, the company, and my boss! I am undeservedly blessed beyond explainable gratitude!

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..but What if my Best isn’t good enough?

Dear mom who can do it all,

Please forgive me for not living up to your expectations. I always try not to mock you when I don’t understand or relate to you, because secretly I envy your perfection & extensive range of abilities and talents. Sometimes I feel like I stayed home sick the day they handed out the SUPERMOM pills. You must have taken my dose along with yours. Now you’re unstoppable! It pains me to admit this, and I cringe as I am writing it, but I CAN’T do it all! I’m just trying to do my best.. but some days it feels like my best isn’t good enough for you.

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Music To My Ears

**Warning: this is LONG! But, so was the process**

I recently saw a new job posting at a GREAT company that I have applied to in the past. Yes, I currently have a job. It pays the bills. However, I don’t see myself spending the rest of my career here. So, I filled out the online application and submitted my resume. “WHY?” you ask: Well.. What’s the worst that could happen? They aren’t interested in me, I keep the job I have, and nothing changes? I’m pretty sure the answer is a no brainer!

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