..but What if my Best isn’t good enough?

Dear mom who can do it all,

Please forgive me for not living up to your expectations. I always try not to mock you when I don’t understand or relate to you, because secretly I envy your perfection & extensive range of abilities and talents. Sometimes I feel like I stayed home sick the day they handed out the SUPERMOM pills. You must have taken my dose along with yours. Now you’re unstoppable! It pains me to admit this, and I cringe as I am writing it, but I CAN’T do it all! I’m just trying to do my best.. but some days it feels like my best isn’t good enough for you.

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Music To My Ears

**Warning: this is LONG! But, so was the process**

I recently saw a new job posting at a GREAT company that I have applied to in the past. Yes, I currently have a job. It pays the bills. However, I don’t see myself spending the rest of my career here. So, I filled out the online application and submitted my resume. “WHY?” you ask: Well.. What’s the worst that could happen? They aren’t interested in me, I keep the job I have, and nothing changes? I’m pretty sure the answer is a no brainer!

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Is It Just Me?

Lately I’ve been feeling very overwhelmed. I don’t know if there have been too many extra activities, work is started to continually doubt my own feelings. I compare myself to other people (never a good idea) and say, “If they can do it, why can’t I?” I think, “maybe there is something wrong with me”. For so long, I have been crippled by fear. Afraid of change (good or bad), afraid of the unknown, afraid of what people will think. My group video last night spoke about trusting yourself, and trusting God. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s not! My feelings are valid, more stressful than normal, or my priorities have changed.. But the other day I ‘snapped’. I felt like I was failing at everything, and the things that I felt were most important weren’t being accomplished. I needed change, and I couldn’t take it anymore. It took me a while to get to this point, because I and I should not ignore them. I don’t want to live in fear! Fear is the absence of faith, and I want to live faithfully.

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That’s What It’s All About

You put your left hand in, you put your left hand out, you put your left hand in, and you shake it all about.. Some days I wish the Hokey Pokey really WAS what it was all about, cuz I sure can turn myself around! Trying to remember why we’re here, what my ‘job‘ is as a parent (more specifically, a MOTHER), as a wife, and as a friend. In our society and crazy busy lives, it is sometimes lost in the shuffle.  In my rat race, sometimes I lose site of His greater purpose. I have to constantly remind myself, Love God, Love others.. Love God, Love others.  How do I do this correctly? I mean, I think I do! But, do I do it for the right reasons, or with the proper heart?

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The Time Has Come!

I recently began a weight loss journey with a group of some of my favorite women from church. It is an amazing program that helps you break your food addictions/habits, and transform yourself in the way God intended for YOU! It has been a GREAT experience for me, sharing and learning. We are not all the SAME person, and we ALL require different things. It is up to us to find out what those things are. With all the media and chaos nowadays, it is sometimes hard to figure out where to even START.

I have been able to take a deeper look at the choices I have been making, my current/future relationship with God, and the life I WANT to live. These first six weeks have been pretty tricky. It has REALLY been scary, eye-opening, and TOTALLY worth it!

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